Working in LGBTQ Catholic ministry is tough. Beyond the hostile cultural and political discourse, within the church it can be difficult to know what to expect from one person to the next, one parish to the next or one diocese to the next. We are spiritually a “universal church,” but my experience tells me that we are struggling to find common ground in this field of ministry. School and parish leaders are asking for clarity on church teaching. LGBTQ persons and their families are asking for welcome and belonging. This makes for a rollercoaster of expectations and anxieties.
Before we’re even out of the gate, there is an obstacle with the use of language. Can we say LGBTQ? Or is Q too ambiguous? What about same-sex attracted (SSA) or the more academic Sexual and Gender Minority (SGM)? And is it gender identity or gender ideology?
Choose the wrong words and you risk losing the audience.
LGBTQ persons and their families are asking for welcome and belonging.
Some people suggest that it is wrong to use the letters LGBTQ. However, there is nothing in the official body of magisterial teaching that prohibits using these letters. I wrote about this for Outreach two years ago and more extensively in a peer-reviewed journal article in 2022.
Another challenge for the universal church is choosing where to begin our conversations on LGBTQ issues. Do we open first the door of moral theology or the door of pastoral applications? The answer depends on what questions are being asked.
This is not a choice between theology and ministry, but a question about the order of operations.
In my experience, questions about doctrine tend to lead when talking to church leaders like bishops, priests and diocesan officials. This makes sense. Yves Congar, O.P., a Dominican priest and theologian at the time of the Second Vatican Council, suggested in True and False Reform in the Church that the “central organs” of the church have a responsibility to guard the continuity of form and structure in the living church.
In the context of LGBTQ ministry, it is common to hear a question like, “What about the teachings of the church?” It’s an entry point that establishes principles of morality and behavior connected to sexuality and gender identity.
If that’s the question, then the church’s doctrines are well documented:
- Sex and gender, body and soul can be distinguished but not separated, so the body must be treated with care and respect (CCC 1004, 2332-2333).
- Non-therapeutic medical procedures are morally illicit, and more so if they cause scandal among children (CCC 2285, 2297).
- Chastity is a foundation for all healthy relationships (CCC 2347-2349).
- Marriage is a sacrament between a man and woman who respect the permanency of both the unitive and procreative ends of this sacred covenant (CCC 1603, 1622, 2364-2369).
- Sexual activity outside of marriage is contrary to its purpose (CCC 2351-2362).
These points are a summary to provide doctrinal clarity. But in my experience, very few people seeking support are asking me doctrinal questions about morality and behavior.
Why not? Because when people come forward, they are usually burdened by their experiences in families, schools, and parishes—not by questions on what the church teaches. What they want most is an experience of sacred listening and to find help resolving interpersonal conflicts.
Pastoral ministry requires shifting postures to meet the needs of those who come to us with their unique and personal stories.
More often, the questions I’m asked are about pastoral applications. LGBTQ persons, their families and those who support them are asking questions about connectedness. These are questions of welcome, love and hope: Does my family love me? Does my church or school welcome me? How do we live with these tensions? Is there reason to hope for a future in the church?
Pastoral ministry requires shifting postures to meet the needs of those who come to us with their unique and personal stories. In those moments, we are invited to answer their questions with the right measure of welcome, witness, worship, service and teaching. If doctrine is our only entry point, we risk missing the most essential pastoral question: what is God asking me to do right now for this person?
A frequent response to this shift in posture is that we must “speak the truth in love.” It’s a core principle of pastoral ministry—a conviction that truth and love cannot be separated. Truth without love is cold and cruel. Love without truth is “false compassion.” Both truth and love are needed, like two sides of a coin.
Yet too often “speaking the truth in love” is used covertly as a defense against LGBTQ inclusion. It justifies unkindness in the name of “tough love,” closing dialogue rather than opening it. This posture forgets that “our human words always fall short of the mystery of God” (CCC 42).
The church teaches that “God’s very being is Truth and Love” (CCC 231), that Christ proclaimed himself to be the truth (Jn 14:6), and that knowledge of truth is knowledge of Christ (CCC 74). The fullness of truth is not an abstract idea but a living person. And persons can only be known in relationship to other persons.
To “speak the truth in love” is not only to present doctrinal positions, but also to embody the fruits of charity—joy, peace and mercy (CCC 1829).
A holistic approach to truth invites us into this relational dynamic. To “speak the truth in love” is not only to present doctrinal positions, but also to embody the fruits of charity—joy, peace and mercy (CCC 1829). Only a posture that holds together these tensions can lead us toward the fullness of truth.
So, in addition to the list of “what the church teaches” above, the church also affirms these complementary teachings that express deep respect for conscience, freedom and human dignity:
- A person’s unique vocation and their human and spiritual autonomy should be respected—even by their parents (CCC 1792, 2232).
- A person cannot be compelled or coerced to believe in Christ or his church (CCC 160; Code of Canon Law 748§2).
- A person is morally obligated to follow an upright and well-formed judgment of conscience enlightened by faith (CCC 1706, 1776-1785).
- The right to the exercise of conscience and freedom—and responsibility for its consequences—is an inalienable requirement of the dignity of the human person (CCC 1731, 1738).
- Reconciliation with God can be obtained through a careful examination of conscience and the Sacrament of Penance (CCC 1435, 1454, 1493).
Yves Congar warned against the dangers of “mechanical fidelity,” which is a rigid attachment to formulas that forgets the living Spirit who animates the church. But he also cautioned against novelty and impatience, which can “threaten to ruin everything.”
That same Spirit is alive in every person. The courage to trust that Spirit is a special grace, one that leads us toward the fullness where “truth cannot contradict truth.” And the special grace of LGBTQ ministry is learning to see the “unfathomable mystery of Christ at work” in his own body (CCC 2625).
Ultimately, what the church teaches is that we can “manage these tensions without being crushed by them.” If our entry point is limited only to the presentation of doctrine, then we risk missing experiences of grace that invite the mercy, strength, healing and peace of full communion in the Body of Christ.
