Maybe the most surprising thing about our first Outreach retreat, which took place on the weekend of June 20-22, was the welcome that we all felt. Of course, Outreach is all about welcoming LGBTQ Catholics, their friends and families and those who minister with them. But what the Outreach team (including myself) and the retreatants did not expect was the extraordinary welcome that we received from the Norbertine monks in Daylesford Abbey in Paoli, a suburb outside of Philadelphia on the “Main Line” (a series of upscale towns along a particular railway line).
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. A few years ago, when my book Building a Bridge was published and garnered a significant amount of intense reaction—including some criticism—Daylesford was one of the first places to host me. Even a few protestors didn’t dissuade them from their welcome.
But I was delighted last weekend when the abbot invited all the retreatants—some 64 “boarders” and almost 30 “commuters” from the area—to join the monks in the chanting of their daily prayers and for their Masses, in the cloistered section of the beautiful abbey church. So for three days, seated among the white-robed Norbertines were young LGBTQ Catholics, some of their parents, a Catholic sister, a priest or two, a few married couples, students and all manner of friends and allies. The monks told me how delighted they were that the abbey church was full, and how well we did with the monastic chants!
If the unofficial theme of the retreat was welcome, the official theme of the retreat was “Jesus desires your friendship,” something that I was privileged to talk about over four sessions in the abbey’s “chapter room” (where the monks gather for important meetings). We began on Friday night with dinner in the retreat house refectory; then followed a presentation, a social hour and after that we began our silence. Some of the retreatants were surprised it was a silent retreat, but it seemed like everyone appreciated the chance to unplug, relax, be quiet and pray. “Be still and know that I am God,” from Psalm 46, kept coming up in my prayer as I listened to the birds sing in the warm summer air.
On Saturday morning, we joined the monks in chanting their morning prayer, and then attended Mass, where the prior of the abbey used the story of St. Aloysius Gonzaga (the Jesuit saint whose feast was that day) to remind us all of God’s love for us. And, for good measure, he repeated the welcome that the abbot had extended to us during morning prayer. The rest of the day included two more presentations, lunch, more quiet time for prayer and then, after dinner, small faith-sharing groups. Without breaking any confidences, I can say that many participants found a great consolation in sharing their faith journeys and their experiences of prayer during the retreat with fellow members of the LGBTQ community.
The Outreach team, led by Michael O’Loughlin, the executive director, assisted by our most recent team member John Consolie, our communications and development associate; and our development director Alessandra Rose, did a great job organizing a well-run retreat. Still, there were some things that we couldn’t plan—but that delighted us nonetheless.
For one thing, people came in from around the country—in addition to some “East Coasters” we had retreatants from Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, Cleveland and Portland, Maine. Also unplanned was the weather. We were surely blessed: our three days at Daylesford were sandwiched in between a violent storm in Philadelphia that downed trees and a period of searing heat that would begin the day after we left. For the most part, it was just sunny, warm and breezy. One afternoon I took a walk in the monastery’s outdoor Stations of the Cross and under the tall shady trees was happy to see a final station, which one sees increasingly these days: the Resurrection.
Last year after Outreach 2024, our conference at Georgetown University, we decided that we would alternate between a conference one year and a retreat the next. The idea was not only that we did not want to repeat ourselves with conferences, but we also want to focus on the spiritual aspect of our ministry. And I think after seeing people strolling the abbey’s beautiful grounds, praying in the high-ceilinged abbey church, sharing openly and honestly at faith sharing, we concluded that the retreat was a good idea!
Our ministry is one of both the head (with our conferences that introduce our community to some of the best scholars, thinkers and pastoral ministers; as well as inspiring and challenging essays on our website) as well as the heart (with our new retreats, as well as website essays on the Gospels, on Catholic theology and on spirituality). So the combination of conferences (Outreach 2026 will be held at Georgetown next June) and retreats we feel is a great balance. Active and contemplative, if you will.
We prayed for everyone who was not with us. (After all, our community is much larger than 90 people!) And we were grateful for your prayers as well. We are grateful that Jesus desires your friendship and that he brings us all together. And with the Norbertines, we offer you welcome, whether at a conference, a regional event, a retreat—or online.
May you have a blessed, restful and prayerful summer.
