“God Bless You. Pray for me, pray for me.” These words of Pope Francis, spoken as he met a group of four transgender women from the United States, including myself, following his general audience earlier this month, have stuck with me.
This miraculous encounter, which took place on Sept. 18, had its genesis at Outreach 2023 at Fordham University in New York City. There, I was fortunate to participate in a panel entitled “The Church and the Transgender Catholic.” Sharing the stage with Sister Luisa Derouen, O.P., Deacon Ray Dever and Hilary and Celestine Howes, I was the last to speak. As the audience questions began, I remained standing.
Immediately a priest rose and started speaking loudly—it sounded to me more like yelling—in Italian. He pointed at me as he spoke. I thought, “What did I say to upset this man so much?” But then his interpreter stood and explained that this priest was Don Andrea Conocchia, from Torvaianica, Italy, the priest who has been taking a group of transgender women to meet with Pope Francis each month since the early days of the pandemic. The interpreter explained that Father Andrea was thanking us for our words and for our ministry. So began a friendship, sustained with regular online correspondence.
I hope that by sharing our story, others will know they are welcome in the church.
Earlier this year, I attended Outreach 2024 at Georgetown University, which included Saturday morning Mass with Cardinal Wilton Gregory, the archbishop of Washington. Following Mass, I ran over to Don Andrea to give him a big hug. Luckily, this time, a translator was immediately able to help me understand what Father Andrea was telling me.
“I want you to come to Rome, I want to take you to meet Pope Francis!” he told me. Immediately, tears flowed. We started discussing details and settled on a date.
Christine Zuba, third from left, stands for a photo in St. Peter’s Square. With Ms. Zuba, from left to right, are Sister Geneviève Jeanningros, Father Andrea Conocchia, Martha Marvel, Maureen Rasmussen and Lynn Discenza. (Courtesy: Christine Zuba)
Four transgender women in total were invited, each of having been present at Outreach 2024: Lynn Discenza (Hartford, Conn.), Martha Marvel (Green Bay, Wisc.), Maureen Rasmussen (Washington, D.C.) and myself. Through email, phone calls and WhatsApp exchanges with Don Andrea and our interpreter, Don Andrea confirmed that our meeting was a “go.”
As the meeting approached, we each prepared short bios, to tell Pope Francis a little bit about ourselves, and forwarded them to Don Andrea. Here’s what I told Pope Francis:
Holy Father we bring to you the prayers, love, gratitude and hopes of thousands of Catholic transgender women and men, non-binary persons, parents of transgender children, and the families that we represent.
We have families we love, and families who love us. We are parents and grandparents. We are children, siblings, aunts and uncles. We are present in all areas of society. We are doctors, lawyers, engineers, architects, and teachers.
We are not part of any ideology. We respect the differences between women and men. We are not trying to play God. To be called a violation of human dignity has been very hurtful.
We are Catholics who cherish our faith and love our Church. Being transgender or non-binary is not a choice, we ask to be accepted as God made us. Diversity in all its forms is a Gift from God.
When the four of us arrived in Rome a couple of days before our meeting, we decided beforehand that we would visit Don Andrea’s parish. Combining subway and bus rides—an experience all its own—we found our way to Torvaianica, a resort town on the Mediterranean coast, roughly 75 minutes from the Vatican.
There we met a few of the transwomen that Don Andrea had been taking to meet with Pope Francis. And our visit took on even more weight when we learned that a transgender woman had recently been found, murdered and left in the woods not far away. The news was a visceral reminder of the dangers transgender people, especially women, still face.
Don Andrea talked to us, over espresso, about the logistics of our meeting that would take place Wednesday, right after the pope’s weekly general audience. We talked about the need to keep our composure and how we would try not to cry.
I wondered if the pope’s request, “Pray for me, pray for me,” held special resonance or had a particular meaning for us transgender Catholics.
The next day Don Andrea confirmed that Pope Francis received the email with our bios. That meant Pope Francis was aware of whom he would be meeting: a group of four transgender women from the United States. We learned, too, that a Catholic sister would accompany us. At the age of 81, Sister Geneviève Jeanningros, a member of the Little Sisters of Jesus, has served God for 57 years and has ministered to the local marginalized LGBTQ community, and especially to transgender persons, for over 40 years.
We met early Wednesday morning and walked to the meeting point with Don Andrea, then around the side of the Vatican to meet Sister Geneviève, who held a place in line. We were seated to the left of Pope Francis, in row four. During the general audience, Francis spoke about his recently concluded trip to Asia and Oceania, of the need to spread the Gospel to all parts of the world and of the joy he witnessed on the faces of the children he met.
Once the general audience ended, the pope moved to his wheelchair and began to meet the various groups and individuals behind and to the side of where he was seated.
As he approached our group, Francis first stopped to greet Sister Geneviève, who explained again to him who we were. Pope Francis was then quickly pushed forward to Martha, who said, “Papa,” to which Pope Francis replied, “Bless you,” as he shook Maureen’s hand. He then greeted me, and held my hand, as he offered his blessing: “God bless you, pray for me, pray for me!”
Don Andrea was the last one of our group to speak to the pope. He handed Pope Francis a copy of the book Come Forth, by James Martin, S.J., which contained signatures from many of the people who attended Outreach 2024. The pope expressed his thankfulness for the gift.
Once Pope Francis moved on, we left the stage area. We said our goodbyes to Don Andrea and to Sister Geneviève. As we debriefed over lunch, we felt extremely blessed and fortunate for the day. While our time with Pope Francis was brief, we felt tremendous joy in meeting Pope Francis.
On the long flight home early the next morning, I experienced conflicting emotions. I was reading the new book, Cornerstones: Sacred Stories of LGBTQ+ Employees in Catholic Institutions, edited by Ish Ruiz and Mark Guevarra. The book includes painful stories about LGBTQ people who have been fired from their church jobs. This certainly saddened me.
Not everyone agrees with Pope Francis, and within our church, not everyone feels included. But the four of us felt included that day.
But I let my mind wander back to my encounter with Pope Francis, and I wondered if his request, “Pray for me, pray for me,” held special resonance or had a particular meaning for us transgender Catholics that day.
By traveling around the world, spreading the Gospel message of love to people of all faiths, Pope Francis is enacting change. Not everyone agrees with him, and even still, within our church, not everyone feels included. But the four of us felt included that day. While not everyone who feels excluded by the church will be able to experience the same kind of welcome, I hope that by sharing our story, others will know they are welcome.
Our visibility in society, within the wider church and in Rome at the highest levels will continue, we hope, to foster understanding and to change hearts and minds. Through this meeting with Pope Francis, we all were helping the church to become more welcoming.
As the four of us reflected on our meeting, Maureen said, “We made a difference!” And that is our prayer.
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